Day 5

I fed the baby again - a young girl and her 2 day old brother. The loyalists attacked the village and they were the only survivours from the loyalists. Whenever I see them, I feel pain. Even though Mendoza said that he, Olivares, and Ramirez will going to take the girl and the baby to a village nearby where they will be cared for, I was worried. During the fight, I couldn't shoot or load the gun. In a positive way, a gun might be a tool which can defend you or can save the country. However, in a negative way, it is just a weapon which kills or hurt people - a gun can never save people nor the country. It was the first time I was in battle, and it made me terrified. Every single place was full of blood and full of dead bodies. Whenever I saw this scene, I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes really hard. The fact which made me more sad is that people who have died, they weren't even a soldier. They were just normal people - living in a village happily. It makes me angry and sad. Also, I thought of my family. Are they fine? What if some problems happen to them while I'm gone? I was curious and wanted to go back home and greet them smiling.

Image from: http://www.armytimes.com/xml/news/2008/07/military_suicidedwyer_070308w/070308tns_dwyer_800.JPG